Wreath
by vericus
Summary: G1, slash - Four Christmases at the Ark, featuring the second- and third-in-command of the Autobots. Contains touching realizations, the first and only Autobot civil war, and...Huffer the Glitter Fairy?
1. Love

**Disclaimer: **Yeah, as if. I _wish _I owned them.

**Author's Note:** Part one of a series of four one-shots written for the prowlxjazz Christmas challenge. The stories that follow won't necessarily take place in the same year, though they are set in the same fic-verse as this.

**- Wreath: Love -  
**  
Jazz whistled to himself as he sauntered into the Ark, content with a job well done. One of Megatron's plans was well and truly fragged, thanks to a few well-placed explosives, and Jazz - for once - hadn't even been caught. Now, though, after two weeks away from the Ark, he was looking forward a little down-time, and sincerely hoped that Prowl's shift was over soon, if he wasn't already off. All thoughts off that fled, however, when he stepped into the command center only to have it suddenly go completely silent. Considering that, judging from the number of mechs inside and the noise he'd heard coming from him when he approached, it had been in a bit of a panic before he arrived, this was exceptionally notable, and the saboteur paused, looking around warily and finding everyone looking at him with a mixture of incredulity and relief.

"Uh - whassup?" he asked uncertainly after a few moments of tense silence.

"Jazz? You're alright?" Sideswipe asked from Jazz's left, his voice expressing an odd mixture of confusion and surprise.

"Yeeeah, I am...should I not be?" Jazz asked, now getting a little bit freaked out.

"We thought we were going to have to go in and extract you." Mirage said with pure relief from another part of the command center, and Jazz took another look at the assembled mechs, realizing that it was a heavily-powered strike force...with Ratchet? Jazz frowned. Ratchet only went along on mission when either there were so many mechs involved that someone was bound to get hurt, or it was a back-up mission, called in because there were already mechs down.

"Why?" Jazz asked, letting his confusion show. "I didn't give any alarm - smoothest mission I've been on in awhile, in fact. Did ol' Megs realize I was missin' from th'Ark an' claim t'have captured me or somethin'?"

"No." Mirage said, giving Jazz an odd look, but before Jazz could question him further, Ratchet abruptly marched up to him and pulled out a scanner, running it over Jazz at it's highest strength. Jazz squirmed and couldn't hold back a snicker at the scan swept over him.

"Hey, tha' tickles, Ratch'!" Jazz half-heartedly protested.

"No failures or systems crashes, no degradation of any kind, energy levels at almost 100..." Ratchet said as he looked at the readouts the scanner was giving him, and he glanced up at Jazz with a frown. "You're operating at near optimum levels."

"Why thank you, you look fine yourself." Jazz said with a grin, then glanced around again. "Seriously, guys, what's up?"

"Prowl is lying in med bay missing half his chassis is 'what's up'." Ratchet replied icily, and Jazz felt his spark go cold.

"What?" he asked quietly. He didn't even remember starting to run, or leaving the command center, only realizing he was moving when he was already half-way to the med bay, with Ratchet just behind him. His internal communications line beeped incessantly at him, but he ignored it, just wanting to get to his lover's side. He skidded around a corner and sprinted down the last stretch of hallway to the med bay, stopping in front of the doors with a frown when they didn't open automatically. Ratchet came to a halt beside him, and Jazz looked over expectantly, knowing who must have locked the doors.

"Jazz, remember - as bad as it looks, Prowl is _stable_. I wouldn't have left if he wasn't." Ratchet said seriously.

"Ratch' - open the fraggin' door." Jazz said calmly. It didn't matter whether or not Prowl was stable, Jazz just wanted to see him _now_, and would do whatever was necessary to do so. Fortunately for Ratchet and his med bay, the medic frowned, but tapped in the code for the doors, and they slid open. Jazz spotted Prowl instantly, lying on one of the berths, unconscious. His leg showed minor damage, but otherwise the tactician looked fine - but then, Jazz couldn't see the other side of Prowl's chassis, where Wheeljack was working. The engineer looked up when Jazz entered, and surprise crossed his face.

"Jazz -" he started, but whatever he said afterwards, Jazz didn't hear, as he focused solely on Prowl, stepping closer until he could see that Ratchet hadn't been exaggerating when he said Prowl was missing half his chassis. It wasn't just the armor, either - the internals were gone, as well. Completely. Jazz slowed as he came around to the other side of the berth, where Wheeljack was working, and he got a good look at the damage. Whatever had hit Prowl had gotten close enough to his core that Jazz could actually see the tactician's spark casing, right at the edge, with nothing protecting it from the outside world.

_So close..._ Jazz thought, and his CPU stuttered, his vision flickering. He stumbled backwards, until he ran into the berth next to Prowl. His optics stared unwaveringly at the exposed spark casing, and it took him several minutes to realize that Ratchet and Wheeljack were both speaking to him, one on either side. Summoning all his willpower, he tore his gaze away, looking up at Ratchet, only to stop as he spotted the mech on the berth across the room. The familiar large figure looked curiously small lying down, though that might've been partly due to the arm and shoulder that he was missing.

"It was a disintegrator ray." Wheeljack's calm voice registered in Jazz's mind, and the saboteur turned to give him a curious look. "Megatron had Optimus dead on, until Prowl jumped in and took half the blast."

"He's been taking lessons from Ironhide." Ratchet grumbled from Jazz's other side, and the saboteur couldn't help but smile slightly at that, and then suddenly, chuckled.

"Nah, he's always been like that." Jazz said, then looked fondly back at Prowl. "Ironhide's just always been closer."

"Yeah, I know." Ratchet said with a sigh. All of Optimus' officers, Ratchet included, had no compunctions about taking a blast for their commander, after all. "Slagging Optimus - for all that he seems bound and determined to die in a heroic sacrifice, he seems to have picked officers that are bound and fragging determined to beat him to the punch."

"It's part of th'job when y'got someone like Optimus for a commander. You know it as well as I do." Jazz said with a shrug, then glanced at Ratchet. "Y'mind if I..." Jazz waved his hand vaguely, and Ratchet patted the berth Jazz was leaning against.

"Go ahead." he said gruffly. "After having dealt with the twins for so long, I know better than to try and keep you out."

"Couldn't if ya tried, doc." Jazz said with a faint smile. "Couldn't if ya tried."

"I could always get the twins to lock you in the brig." Ratchet pointed out.

"Well, first off, you'd have t'get them t'agree to do that, an' they wouldn't." Jazz said dryly as he hopped up on the berth, letting his legs dangle over the edge as he looked back at Prowl, "An' second off, y'really think th'brig can hold me?"

"No, I suppose not." Ratchet mused, and then he and Wheeljack moved away. Ratchet went to Prowl's berth, resuming whatever work Wheeljack had been doing, while Wheeljack went over to one of the benches at the back of the med bay, where the beginning skeleton for Optimus' new arm rested.

Jazz just flipped on his internal radio to a soft rock station, and settled down to watch.

---

Ratchet and the other Autobots, once they'd gotten over the shock of having Jazz return, fully functional, were expecting the third-in-command to spend all his time in med bay until Prowl was repaired. They'd prepared for it, re-working the duty shifts and everything. They were surprised, though, when Jazz left the med bay for his usual shift the next day, and then stayed to cover Prowl's usual shift, as well. Ratchet, of course, immediately became concerned that Jazz was going to try and work himself into exhaustion to try and forget Prowl's injury.

"Ratch' - I'm third in command. I'm _supposed_ t'do this when Prime an' Prowl get put out of commission." Jazz told the medic with some amusement after Ratchet had cornered him about it.

"Oh. Uh - right." Ratchet said, too shocked to say much else as Jazz gave him a saucy grin a walked away.

"You jus' focus on fixin' 'em, hey doc?" the saboteur said over his shoulder, and Ratchet could only stare after him. The behavior didn't seem to fit, considering how close Prowl and Jazz were - but nothing about Jazz's behavior had been quite right since he'd come back. It was really Jazz - Ratchet had run a few surreptitious scans just to be sure - but he seemed to be taking his mate's injury a lot easier than anyone anticipated.

Ratchet felt some relief, though, when Jazz returned to the med bay once he was done his double shift, and quietly asked if he could recharge in there, since his and Prowl's quarters didn't seem right without the tactician. Ratchet agreed easily, mostly so he could keep a watchful optic on Jazz, and maybe run a few scans while the saboteur was in recharge. Nothing was wrong with Jazz, though, either that night or the following ones, and Ratchet and the other Autobots could only watch in puzzlement as Jazz continued on almost normally, as if it was no big deal that the mech he'd been sharing quarters with almost since they met was lying in the med bay recovering from a near-fatal wound. The saboteur even began his yearly plans for Christmas around the Ark, startling everyone with his excuse that with Prowl and Optimus out of commission, it was the best time to start, since he was approving his own requisitions.

There were a few mutterings, of course, about Jazz's apparent lack of feeling, but they quieted soon after someone came looking for Jazz in the middle of the night shift, and found him in the med bay. There was also the fact that Jazz's first comment or question to any of the medics, whenever and wherever he saw them, was always about Prowl - and Optimus, though that always seemed more of an after-thought once he was reassured that repairs on Prowl were progressing normally. After that, some mechs began to worry that Jazz was bottling up his worry and emotions, and would break down eventually, but the more observant ones pointed out that while Jazz seemed normal, he didn't laugh as much, wasn't smiling constantly as he usually did, and the only prank that had happened since Prowl's injury had been a half-hearted attempt of Sideswipe's that even the red twin agreed was an abysmal failure.

Finally, four days after Jazz's return from his mission, Ratchet couldn't stand it anymore. Jazz's behavior was strange and inexplicable according to everything the medic knew, which meant that he had to be missing something. The solution, of course, was finding out what he was missing...by asking Jazz what in the Pit he doing, running around and acting almost normal when Prowl was in the med bay with an injury like that. So Ratchet worked on rebuilding the last of Optimus' shoulder, and attaching the new arm, while he waited for Jazz's double shift to end and the saboteur to make his inevitable way to med bay to watch the unconscious Prowl and recharge.

"Why the Pit are you acting so calm about all this, Jazz?" Ratchet asked once Jazz was settled, and the saboteur looked over at him curiously.

"What d'ya mean?" he asked.

"Well, I didn't really expect you to go ballistic like Sideswipe or Sunstreaker would, but -" Ratchet frowned, pausing as he carefully soldered two wires together. "We got back to the base after the fight to find Blaster on the line with a frantic Elita - she'd felt something wrong all the way from Cybertron, and risked Shockwave tracking her transmission just to make sure Optimus was all right. Apparently the shock of part of Optimus' systems just completely disappearing overrode the usual blocks in their bond. And you were here on earth, with Prowl hurt worse than Optimus. It's why we were readying an extraction team - we expected to find you completely incapacitated and in Decepticon hands."

"Huh." Jazz said, and there was something in his voice that made Ratchet stop his repairs and look up. Jazz had an odd look on his face as he looked at Prowl, and seemed usually tense. Ratchet frowned again, then gaped as he finally realized what he'd been missing.

"Primus - you two aren't bonded!" he exclaimed, and Jazz suddenly jerked, looking up at Ratchet with a startled expression.

"Wha -? Oh." Jazz shook his head slightly as he seemed to register what Ratchet had said. "Nah, we're not bonded." Ratchet stared at Jazz in disbelief - out of all the couples he'd known over the years, Jazz and Prowl had struck him as the closest in every way but their personalities. They even had similar colour schemes. It had, he'd thought, been a foregone conclusion that they were bonded. He'd assumed it from the moment he'd met them, and he was pretty sure everybody else had, too. To hear Ironhide tell the tale, they'd been together almost from the moment they met, anyways.

"Why the frag not?" Ratchet asked without thinking as his CPU tried to accept this concept, then he winced as his thought process caught up with his mouth. "Sorry, it's not my business." Jazz smiled faintly.

"Nah, not really, but I'll tell ya anyways." the saboteur said, looking back at Prowl. There was a long pause, and Ratchet almost thought Jazz wasn't going to tell him, despite what he said, but finally the saboteur spoke, "We decided not t'bond pretty early on, when th'war was just startin'. Considerin' we'd just met, and were in the first stages'a love, it was a kinda heroic feat for us t'decided that then. But Prowl's pretty good at predictin' outcomes, and I ain't head of special ops for nothin'. We saw Optimus, at the head of the Autobots, needing Elita's support t'keep from fallin'. We saw Chromia and Ironhide, bonded for vorns and keepin' each other goin', despite feelin' too old for another war. And we saw ourselves, keepin' each other from goin' crazy." Jazz paused, then chuckled slightly as he continued.

"An' then we looked around again, and realized that if things proceeded as they looked like they were gonna, if Elita n'Optimus bonded - like they did - and then we bonded, the Decepticons could waltz in and kill three officers, and wipe out the top six members of the Autobot command staff. Ultra Magnus was the next one down from there, and we knew he wouldn't've been ready for that. Frag, _he_ knew he wasn't ready for it. Y'probably remember better'n me the rants he used t'give Optimus every time he was injured about how he better not die an' leave him in command." Ratchet chuckled.

"Yes, I seem to remember him threatening to storm the matrix himself and haul Optimus back, as painfully as possible, if he ever did that." the medic said, and Jazz nodded.

"Exactly." he said. "So, Prowl an' I, we decided - let's not make the Decepticon's job easier. We couldn't really say anythin' t'Optimus an' Elita, of course, since, well, they needed each other. Really needed each other, right down on th'spark-bond level, otherwise they'd lose strength, lose sight of what th'point of it all was, an' fall. An' Chromia n'Ironhide were already bonded - can't break that, an' wouldn't've asked them to even if y'could. Us, though? Well, we could keep each other sane without bondin'. It would've been nice - would've made us all that much closer. But it wasn't necessary.

"What _was_ necessary, though, was for one of us t'be able to continue livin', however unhappily or alone, if th'other died. That there be someone, two someone's, in the upper levels of th'Autobot command that didn't have a fatal weakness - an Achilles' heel, as th'humans would say. So that if th'worst happened - like it looked like it would, back in those days - an' th'Cons caught an' killed th'right combination of officers, there would still be someone t'continue th'fight. We even let everyone believe we were bonded, anyways, just so we'd have that one-up on th'Cons if it all went to th'Pits." Jazz finished with a sigh. He gave Ratchet a half-hearted smile, then turned back to Prowl.

Ratchet could only watch him in stunned surprise. It was hard to fathom, that Jazz and Prowl would give up a lifetime of being bonded, just for the sake of the war. Hard to comprehend that they thought so much of the Autobot cause that they'd deny themselves this one luxury, just so that one of them could carry on and continue to lead if the other was killed. The sacrifice was - well, they couldn't really feel the true impact of it, since you never really knew what being bonded was like until you'd experienced it yourself, but as someone who was bonded himself, Ratchet knew what they'd given up. The sense of completion, the utter certainty that you were loved, the knowledge of your mate's status at any time, healthy or injured - it was an incredible experience, and from the first moment he and Wheeljack had bonded, Ratchet had understood why no bonded bot ever outlived their mate. It wasn't just the loss of the one you loved, though that was bad enough - it was that going back to the half-existence of not being bonded, after experiencing something so much more, was...empty, meaningless. Life in that manner literally would not hold any interest for you anymore, because you'd seen a life that was so much _better._

And Jazz and Prowl had given that experience up, willingly - decided to give it up - for the Autobots.

Ratchet had always thought that Optimus was the strongest supporter of the Autobot cause, and that was why he was the leader. But now - now, the medic couldn't help but wonder if perhaps Optimus' second and third in command didn't believe in the Autobot cause as much as, or more than, the Prime himself.

And as he turned back to repairing Optimus, Ratchet realized just how lucky they were to have Jazz and Prowl.

_-- "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." - John 15:13 --_


	2. Peace

**Disclaimer: **I totally do not own the Transformers. 

**Author's Note:** Part two of a series of four one-shots written for the prowlxjazz Christmas challenge. The stories don't necessarily take place in the same year, though they are set in the same fic-verse. Thundercracker's second line in this kills me dead every time I re-read it for editing purposes. Also, the tag at the end is the fault of jazzbot8907, who wanted to see what happened to Skywarp.

**- Wreath: Peace -  
**

_"Sorry guys, the forecast is sayin' it's gonna last all night."_ Blaster said apologetically over the comm line.

_"Thank you, Blaster."_ Prowl said with a sigh.

_"No problem. You two find some place to hole up and stay there, hey? Last thing we need is for you two to freeze like Skyfire and get buried so far under the snow that we can't find you until spring."_ Blaster said with a chuckle.

_"Unlikely."_ Prowl said.

_"But we'll hole up somewhere anyways, Blaster."_ Jazz butted in, and Blaster chuckled again.

_"I'm sure you will."_ he said, the comment sounding almost like a leer, and Jazz laughed.

_"Thanks man, have a good shift." _Jazz said.

_"Naturally. See you two when the blizzard's over."_ Blaster replied with another chuckle. They said their goodbyes, and Prowl and Jazz turned their attention back to the world around them.

_"Well Jazz, ideas?"_ Prowl asked with a hint of irritation in his voice.

_"Find some place to hole up?"_ Jazz said helpfully.

_"I was looking for something a little more specific. Like a place nearby to hole up in._" Prowl replied grumpily.

_"There should be a town at the bottom of this pass."_ Jazz said.

_"You want to go_down_ the mountain...in a white-out."_ Prowl said incredulously.

_"Not really."_ Jazz admitted, and Prowl growled, revving his engine.

_"You are extremely aggravating sometimes, you know that?"_ he asked.

_"Yep."_ Jazz said, sounding distinctly like he was smirking. _"But weren't we talking about finding shelter?"_

_"Yes, we were, but you weren't being much help."_ Prowl stated.

_"Well, there was this crevice a little ways back that was rather sheltered, if you feel like backtracking."_ Jazz commented. Prowl remained silent for several moments, but in the end, he opted not to ask Jazz why he'd mentioned the town if he knew about this crevice, instead carefully pulling back out onto the mountain road and slowly creeping back the way they'd come. Jazz followed right behind, his front bumper literally inches from Prowl's rear.

It didn't take long for Prowl to locate the crevice, which turned out to be a lot bigger than Jazz had thought, opening into a small canyon of sorts. The sides bent in so much over the top that it was almost a cave, with only a sliver of the grey sky able to be seen, and only small amounts of snow swirling down from there. It was also, surprisingly, occupied.

"Yo." Thundercracker greeted the two Autobots in a bored tone when they entered.

"Oh great, company." Starscream groaned.

"Whoa. Fancy meetin' you two here." Jazz said in surprise when it became obvious Prowl's logic processor was taking longer than normal to recover from the unexpected encounter.

"Yeah, not really. We were following you." Thundercracker said with a shrug.

"Thundercracker!" Starscream snapped, and the blue jet gave him a defensive look.

"What? That blizzard isn't about to let up any time soon, so we're probably going to be stuck here together for awhile. Might as well make polite conversation." Thundercracker said.

"They're _Autobots_." Starscream said, twitching slightly.

"Really? I hadn't noticed." Thundercracker said sarcastically, then turned to Jazz and Prowl, still standing, surprised, in the entrance to the crevice. "Don't mind Screamer, he's just slagged off about 'Warp teleporting himself out of the blizzard and leaving us behind. Please, come in, join us in our little crevice in the mountain." Thundercracker motioned vaguely around the crevice, and Jazz nudged Prowl. The tactician shook himself, then glanced back at Jazz with a disapproving frown.

"Hey man, y'can go back out there if y'want, but I ain't gonna." Jazz said, shaking his head, and stepped around Prowl to get into the main part of the crevice.

"Jazz -" Prowl started to object, then sighed as the saboteur flopped himself down on the ground. Jazz was well away from the two Decepticon Seekers, but within speaking distance.

"Followin' us, hey?" Jazz questioned, and Thundercracker nodded.

"Yeah. Kinda curious why you decided to go visit the mountains in the middle of winter, though." he said.

"Eh, some friends of ours needed a lift to the other side." Jazz said with a shrug.

"Those humans you were travelling with going the other way, you mean." Thundercracker said, and Jazz nodded.

"Spike and Carly, going to see Carly's parents for Christmas. They had to leave it late this year, and with all the snow up here this season, Bumblebee never would've been able to make the trip without copious amounts of transforming. So we volunteered." Jazz said, motioning to himself and Prowl. The tactician himself just shook his head and glanced over at Starscream, who gave him a sour look.

"We're not going to be able to stop _them_, so you might as well come in." the Air Commander said, glancing disdainfully at Jazz and Thundercracker, and Prowl grimaced, silently agreeing. He joined Jazz farther inside, while Jazz and Thundercracker watched with amusement, until Starscream saw and whacked Thundercracker on the head, then pointed his null-ray threateningly at Jazz. "I'm still armed, you know!" the red jet snarled.

"Oh come off it, Screamer." Thundercracker said with a snort, then turned to Jazz and Prowl and added conversationally, "Our weapons froze up an hour ago. Yours?"

"Haven't tried, but they're probably fine, considering they're in subspace." Jazz said with a shrug.

"This is true." Thundercracker admitted. Silence fell in the crevice as it seemed no one either knew what to say or wanted to speak. Surprisingly, it was Starscream that broke the silence half an hour later.

"What the slag is 'Christmas'?" he asked, looking over at the two Autobots, and they looked at him in surprise.

"It's a human holiday." Jazz supplied, and Starscream frowned.

"What's it about?" he asked.

"Uh - well, it started out as a religious festival celebrating the birth of some saviour of theirs over nineteen hundred years ago." Jazz said. "It's sort of grown since then, though." Starscream looked thoughtful at that.

"So - nothing to do with jets?" he asked, and Jazz chuckled in surprise.

"No, nothin'. Why?" he couldn't help but ask.

"We were sitting on an airfield waiting for you two to move on at one point, and some little fleshbag was yelling to it's creator about how I was 'Christmas-like'." Starscream said, voice thick with disdain, and Jazz started laughing.

"It's your colour scheme." Prowl told the jet dryly while Jazz laughed. "Wheeljack gets the same thing around this time of year. Apparently green, red, white, and gold are 'Christmas colours'. You're missing the green, obviously, but it was likely enough for the child."

"Oh." Starscream said, sounding confused. "Why?"

"I have no idea." Prowl said, glancing over at Jazz, who finally managed to collect himself.

"Don't look at me." Jazz said with amusement. "I never asked Spike th'_why_, just th'_how_ an' th'_what._"

"Typical." Prowl said with a shake of his head.

"Hey, I'd like t'see_you_ try t'sort out th'origins of even th'most basic human tradition, let alone one of their major holidays." Jazz said defensively, then added thoughtfully right afterwards, "Actually, I wouldn't, it would short your logic processor."

"That's because humans are illogical." Prowl grumped.

"You sound like Soundwave. Only with more emotion." Thundercracker commented.

"Really?" Jazz asked in surprise, and Thundercracker nodded.

"Soundwave's _always_ complaining about how illogical humans are. What's funny is that Rumble and Frenzy can be even _more_ illogical than humans at times, and he doesn't say a word about them." the blue jet said. Jazz considered that.

"Y'know, come to think of it, Prowl, I don't think I've ever heard ya complain about how illogical any of th'Autobots are." the saboteur said, turning to Prowl.

"That's because I'm stuck with you glitches no matter what. I keep hoping, though, that if I complain enough about the humans, Prime will send me back to Cybertron." Prowl replied smartly.

"But - I'll still be here." Jazz pointed out.

"And you can have fun being here, while I stay happily on our nice, logical homeworld." Prowl replied, and Jazz gave him a pathetic look. Prowl stared back impassively for several long moments before giving in and covering his optics with a sigh. "Fine, I'll just stay on Earth and have my logic processor continually short out thanks to the humans."

"Did I miss something here?" Thundercracker asked with amusement.

"Nah, nothin' important." Jazz said with a grin.

"Bonded, or just seeing each other?" Starscream asked in a bored tone.

"None of your business." Prowl replied dryly.

"Just curious." Starscream said with a shrug. "I'd offer Decepticon gossip in return, but I don't think you really want to hear about which 'Cons are interfacing with each other."

"And you want to hear about which Autobots are?" Prowl asked in return. Starscream considered.

"Point. Unless Skyfire's getting some." the red jet mused.

"He's too big for even Prime an' too small for Superion. Nope." Jazz replied with a chuckle.

"Superion?" Thundercracker asked, sounded slightly disturbed, and Jazz chuckled again.

"For example. A few of his parts might have objections t'havin' a relationship with Skyfire." the saboteur said.

"Oh good. That leaves just Menasor as the creepy flirting gestalt." Thundercracker replied with a nod.

"What? No, I don't want t'know." Jazz said with a shudder.

"No, you don't." Thundercracker said, shuddering. "Suffice it to say Megatron's forbidden the Stunticons from forming Menasor outside of battle for_any_ reason, including training."

"Can we please talk about something else? Or nothing at all?" Starscream asked crankily. "It was disturbing enough to have Menasor hitting on me without having to hear about it again, repeatedly, afterwards." Surprisingly, Prowl snickered at that, and Starscream glared at him.

"Sorry, just - you remember when the Aerialbots approached the Decepticons about switching sides?" Prowl asked with a smirk, and Starscream and Thundercracker nodded in confusion. "Most of them were convinced they were in love with you at the time, Starscream. Silverbolt was the only one immune."

"_Primus!_ What is _wrong_ with all the gestalts! I do not like big bots! In fact, I like small ones! Small and slender, as in femmes!" Starscream ranted, causing Thundercracker and Jazz to laugh, while Prowl continued smirking. Starscream fumed while the other two slowly calmed down, and only once it was almost silent again did Prowl speak.

"Not according to Skyfire." he said, and all three mechs gaped at the smirking tactician, before Thundercracker and Jazz turned their attention to Starscream, who winced and shrunk a bit under their gaze.

"That was a long time ago." he mumbled, and the other two started laughing again. "How do you even know about that?!" Starscream demanded angrily, glaring at Prowl.

"After Skyfire decided to join us, he was all depressed because you and he were on opposite sides. So Jazz decided to get him over-charged." Prowl said.

"Oooh, I remember that. He has a hollow leg, I swear!" Jazz said with a wince.

"More like he's more than twice your size, Jazz." Prowl replied with a snort. "Anyways. Skyfire out-lasted Jazz and all his co-conspirators, though he was fairly over-charged himself by the time the last of them went down. Ironhide and I ended up having to haul them all back to their quarters, and it took both of us to help Skyfire through the halls. We wouldn't have been able to move him at all if he hadn't been conscious. Though we would've preferred that, since he went on about you and him the _entire way_ from the rec room to his quarters. In graphic detail at some points." Prowl shuddered. "I still haven't managed to block out everything he said."

"Primus! I'm going to kill him!" Starscream groaned.

"Except not, because you refuse to shoot at him even in combat." Thundercracker commented.

"Shut up." Starscream told Thundercracker with a growl, and the blue jet smirked. Starscream turned back to Prowl with a glare. "For that, you owe me an answer."

"To what?" Prowl asked blandly.

"You two." Starscream said, motioning to Prowl and Jazz. "Friends, lovers, bonded?"

"Somewhere in-between the last two." Prowl replied.

"That doesn't make sense." Starscream pointed out.

"You just wanted an answer. You didn't specify if you wanted it to make sense." Prowl replied. Starscream retorted snippily, and the two second in commands began to bicker back and forth, while Thundercracker and Jazz watched with amusement.

_"Seeing and hearing this was worth the entire trip, blizzard included."_ Jazz commented to Thundercracker over a closed comm line.

_"I completely agree."_ Thundercracker replied.

---

By the time noon came around, Blaster was beginning to get worried - he'd been trying to contact Jazz and Prowl since around two in the morning, but hadn't gotten a reply, and Teletraan was reporting Decepticon activity around their last known location. So the communications officer went to Prime with his concerns, and the Autobot leader told him to take Skyfire, Hound, and the twins and go out looking.

Skyfire had to fly carefully to avoid being seen, but he managed to make it to the mountain Blaster had lost Jazz and Prowl's signals on, and they began to search, keeping in mind that the two Autobots had been looking for shelter. They split up, Skyfire waiting where he'd landed, while Hound and Blaster searched down one side, and the twins down the other. They hadn't been searching for more than twenty minutes when Hound spotted a crevice, and went to investigate.

_"Blaster...come see this."_ Hound called over a comm line, an odd tone in his voice.

_"There are 'Cons in the area, Hound, we don't have time to sight-see."_ Blaster reminded the green mech, though he was already heading in the direction of the crevice.

_"Yeah, I know that, just...you have to see this."_ Hound said as Blaster approached the crevice, but before the red bot could enter, Hound appeared and made a shushing motion. _"Quiet."_ he said over the comm line, and Blaster frowned, but moved more quietly as he carefully made his way over the drift at the crevice's entrance. Once inside, he looked around curiously, only to stifle laughter at what he found.

Hound had not only found Prowl and Jazz - he'd found two Decepticon Seekers, as well. Thundercracker was sprawled across the ground of the crevice, with Starscream using his midsection as a pillow. Jazz, in turn, was using Starscream's legs as a foot rest, while his head rested in Prowl's lap. The Autobot tactician was the only one of them still sitting, propped up against the crevice wall, one arm wrapped around Jazz's upper torso. All four were apparently deep in recharge, though as some of Blaster's snickers escaped, Thundercracker's optics slowly came back online. He lifted his head slowly to look at the two Autobots, and Hound and Blaster froze, neither quite sure what to say.

"Good mornin'." Hound finally settled on with a cheery grin, and Thundercracker stared at him for a moment.

"Good morning." he finally replied, looking almost surprised at himself for replying.

"Soooo, do we wanna know?" Blaster asked, motioning to the three recharging mechs, and Thundercracker glanced over at them.

"I don't know. I passed out first." the blue jet admitted. "Last thing I remember was Screamer and Prowl debating chaos theory."

"Okay then..." Blaster mused. "Uh, we should probably wake them up, though. The blizzard's over, and your buddies are out looking for you."

"Including Skywarp?" Thundercracker asked, optics glinting somewhat dangerously, and Blaster nodded. Thundercracker reached down and thumped Starscream on the head at that, and the red jet came online with an unholy shriek, startling Prowl and Jazz into wakefulness.

"Frag, I think I understand where he got his name now!" Blaster whined, rubbing at his audios, and Thundercracker chuckled, while Starscream scowled. Jazz was rubbing his audios as well, a pained expression on his face, and Blaster had to feel for the other mech - not only had he been closer, but his audios were more sensitive. Prowl, meanwhile, was looking a little fuzzy, like he hadn't quite caught up to where he was and what was going on yet.

"Come on, Screamer. Warp's called in the cavalry to look for us, apparently." Thundercracker said, pushing Starscream's head off his midsection and standing.

"Good. Time to pay that little fragger back for deserting us!" Starscream snapped, standing quickly.

"Shove him into a mountain?" Thundercracker inquired politely.

"Biggest snowdrift available." Starscream countered. "Bonus points if you can cause it to avalanche on him afterwards."

"Really not that much of a challenge, here." Thundercracker said with a smirk.

"Then let's go do it." Starscream snapped, beginning to rise in the air, and Thundercracker chuckled before taking off out of the crevice. Starscream followed, only to pause just as he was about to leave, glancing back down at the Autobots. "Hey, tell Skyfire 'hi' for me."

"Yeah, sure." Prowl said blearily, waving vaguely in Starscream's direction. The red jet smirked and took off, leaving the Autobots alone in the crevice.

"You two alright?" Blaster asked Jazz and Prowl with amusement.

"Yeah, we're fine." Jazz replied, shaking his head one last time, then looked up at Blaster and Hound with a frown. "Hey, why're you two out here?"

"Couldn't reach you on the radio." Blaster said with a chuckle, then wrapped his knuckles against the crevice wall. "Probably because you were surrounded by solid rock."

"Oh, heh, oops." Jazz said with a chuckle, then hopped to his feet before turning around and offering a hand to Prowl. "Come on Prowl, let's go." the saboteur said when Prowl just looked at the hand blankly.

"Wha? Oh. Right." Prowl said blearily, grabbing the hand and letting himself be pulled upright, where he wobbled unsteadily for a few moments before regaining his balance.

"Man, he ain't a mornin' mech, is he?" Blaster asked Jazz with amusement.

"Not after he spends most of the night debating theoretical physics and philosophy with Starscream." Jazz replied dryly, and Prowl glared at both of them equally.

"There wasn't exactly any other source of intelligent conversation available at the time." the tactician said bitingly.

"Oooh, ouch." Jazz said with a grin. Prowl made a displeased noise and stalked out of the crevice, leaving the other three mechs to follow behind him, laughing.

_-- "May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!" - Author Unknown --_

_Skywarp ducked away from Megatron's glare for the umpteenth time that morning, deciding to head over to a different mountain to scan for his trinemates. As much as he'd been glad to get out of the storm last night, returning to the Nemesis and reporting Starscream and Thundercracker's unknown whereabouts and dubious functionality had been a rather unpleasant experience, as were the subsequent search and rescue efforts. So when two familiar signatures appeared on his scanners, Skywarp was infinitely relieved._

"Found them!"_ Skywarp broadcasted to the other Decepticons, transforming with a grin and turning to face his two trinemates. _"Hey, Screamer, TC, what's up? How was the blizzard?"_ There was no response from the two jets, and Skywarp frowned. Maybe their comm lines were damaged?_

_Regardless, they could obviously see him, since they were headed straight for him, so he could just wait until they reached him to have a chat. They should be getting close enough to transform and chat soon...except that they really already were...and they didn't appear to be slowing down, and why was Thundercracker peeling away?_

_The realization that his trinemates might be a little irritated with him shouldn't have taken that long to hit Skywarp, but it did, and it was only in the last moments before Starscream hit him that Skywarp realized just how slagged he was._

_Starscream didn't even bother transforming before he hit, his nose-cone ramming into Skywarp's stomach hard enough that the purple and black jet was sure there was internal damage. Before Skywarp could recover, though, Starscream slammed on his brakes, transforming and pulling away as Skywarp continued his new flight path, straight into a deep snow drift on the side of a mountain._

"I'm sorry!"_ Skywarp offered meekly over the comm line as he tried to pull himself out of the soft snow, but his trinemates weren't done yet. A sonic boom sounded over head, created by Thundercracker, and there was an ominous rumbling. Time seemed to pause for a moment as Skywarp looked up at the smirking Starscream in horror, and then the snow around and above Skywarp collapsed and began flowing down the mountain, taking him with it._

_---_

_Skywarp onlined his optics as he felt fresh air cross his face, and he scowled up at Thundercracker and Starscream, peering in through the hole in the snow burying Skywarp._

_"And what did we learn from this, Skywarp?" Starscream asked bitingly._

_"Never leave you two behind in a blizzard?" Skywarp guessed in a grumble._

_"And if you do, don't hover there like a glitch expecting hugs when you finally find us the next morning." Thundercracker added dryly._

_"Would you three get a move on!" Megatron snapped from out of Skywarp's line of sight, and the two Seekers moved away to finish digging Skywarp out of the snow before heading back to the Nemesis._


	3. Joy

**Disclaimer: **I totally do not own the Transformers.

**Author's Note:** Part three of a series of four one-shots written for the prowlxjazz Christmas challenge. The stories don't necessarily take place in the same year, though they are set in the same fic-verse. My Hound/Mirage fangirling is beginning to peek through...blame the anonymous kink thread on the tf2007fun community for it even existing in the first place! And I make no apologies for Optimus' _horrible_ pun. He made it all by himself, I had nothing to do with it.

**- Wreath: Joy -**

It was quiet when Prowl stepped out of the Ark, and he scanned the surrounding landscape suspiciously. Most of the Ark's off-duty crew was supposed to be out here, and considering how rowdy the rec room got when even half a shift was in there (let along almost two full ones as were supposed to be outside), Prowl had expected an all-out brawl. In fact, he'd thought he'd heard noises to that effect as he neared the entrance, but they had abruptly ceased before he'd come within visual range, and the participants, as well as everyone else, had vanished into the landscape. The fact that everything was covered in snow wasn't even much of a help - what footprints could be seen were so scuffed they would be impossible to track.

Prowl frowned as he looked around again, and contemplated activating his scanners. Given who was supposed to be out here, however, the tactician easily concluded that not only was he likely to be jammed if they were already going to this much trouble to hide, but it would be unnecessary, since -

Ah, there was Bluestreak, poking his head up from behind a rock and waving enthusiastically not more than thirty feet away. Prowl made a beeline for the young gunner, smiling faintly as he could almost hear the groan from the other mechs hidden around the landscape. There was the sound of some scrambling about and feet crunching in the snow, and he suspected some hiding spots were being hastily abandoned. He had to give them credit, though - whoever was moving, he didn't seen more than flashes of colour as he made his way over to Bluestreak.

"Hi Prowl! What are you doing out here?" Bluestreak asked brightly.

"I was looking for Mirage. Do you know where he is?" Prowl asked.

"Um, precisely? No. He's on the other side, so I know vaguely where he is, of course, but I keep getting hit every time I poke my head up, cuz I'm such a good shot, so I never really have a chance to look around so I don't really know where he is. Plus there's his cloak, so he could be behind me if he wanted to and I wouldn't know." Bluestreak replied cheerfully. Prowl didn't even have to pause to sift through Bluestreak's ramblings to get to the information he needed, having had over a million years of practice doing so.

"The other side?" he asked, arching an optic ridge.

"Of the war." Bluestreak supplied, and Prowl did a double-take on that.

"Bluestreak, last time I checked, Mirage was still an Autobot." the tactician said flatly.

"Oh, haha, yes, he is, I didn't mean _that _war." Bluestreak said with a giggle. "I meant the snowball war."

"Snow..." Prowl paused, and looked around at the snow again, and noticed for the first time the 'impact craters' in the ground covering, where large, Autobot-sized balls of snow had hit when they'd missed their targets. "I see." said Prowl, glancing back to Bluestreak. "Dare I ask why you're engaging in battle simulations while off-duty?"

"It's not a battle simulation, it's just for fun!" Bluestreak protested. "I mean, at first it was just the twins pelting anybody who came outside, but then Jazz decided to 'organize a defence' or something, and got a few others to join up with him. Then the twins complained about being outnumbered, so they grabbed the mini-bots, who weren't pleased at first, but they got into it eventually, and then they started pulling in others, and Jazz grabbed some more mechs, and then the next thing we knew, it was an all-out war. Mirage was actually on our side at first, too, but then Hound asked him to use his cloak to get someone on the other side and Mirage got all upset in a joking kind of way, claiming that Hound only wanted him for his cloak or something and switched sides, so now I don't know where he is except somewhere that way." Bluestreak finished by motioning vaguely to the area on the other side of the entrance to the Ark. Prowl considered this for a moment.

"I take it he's close enough to hear me, however?" Prowl asked, and Bluestreak nodded.

"He should be, if you speak loud enough. I mean, since there's so many of us out here we're pretty spread out, but if it's important - which of course it is because you wouldn't come looking for him if it wasn't - anyways, even if he doesn't hear, someone will pass it along to him." the gunner said, and Prowl nodded his thanks, before turning to face the other side.

"Mirage, Ratchet would like to see you." the tactician said, then added, just because of what Bluestreak had said, "He said something about fixing your cloak so you can use it again." There was a round of surprised noises from all around the landscape, and then Mirage was unceremoniously tossed over a snow-drift with a squawk.

"Foul! False advertisement!" Sideswipe called, appearing from behind the same snow-drift Mirage had appeared from, and Sunstreaker appeared as well, shaking his fist in Mirage's direction. The spy looked sheepish as he stood up and brushed himself off, only to yelp as over a dozen mechs appeared from behind rocks and snow drifts on Mirage's previous 'side' and pelted him with snowballs. Mirage wisely transformed and peeled off into the Ark, followed by 'boo's and snowballs. Prowl smiled slightly, then turned back to Bluestreak.

"Thank you for your help, Bluestreak." he said. "Enjoy your...snowball war."

"Yeah, I will - hey, do you want to join in? I'm sure Sunny and Sides could use another member on their side with Mirage gone." Bluestreak asked brightly, ignoring the snowball Sunstreaker chucked his way at the nickname. Prowl observed the gunner standing there, smiling brightly, with snow slowly falling down his arm from where Sunstreaker's snowball had hit, and shook his head.

"I'm afraid I'll have to decline. I'm still on duty, after all." Prowl said, deciding not to mention that his shift was almost over. All he really had to do was hand in a few reports to Optimus, and then he was free to return to his and Jazz's quarters for some energon and recharge - even lacking Jazz's presence, that was a much more appealing option.

"Alright...guess I'll see you later, then." Bluestreak said, and Prowl almost changed his mind when he heard how unexpectedly disappointed the young gunner sounded. There was that last report to give to Optimus, however, and he was really tired, so he simply apologized and said his goodbye. Bluestreak ducked back down as Prowl turned his back, but the tactician got no more than a few steps before someone called his name, and he turned around again.

"Merry Christmas!" Prowl caught no more than a glimpse of a grinning Jazz before a snowball hit him in the face, and he stumbled backwards a step. An unnatural silence fell, even quieter than it had been before, as Prowl slowly wiped the snow from his face and gazed at the grinning Jazz. "Come on Prowl, y'know y'wannaaaaa!" the saboteur teased.

"Unlike some mechs, I have duties." Prowl said flatly.

"Your shift is over in ten minutes." Jazz retorted, and Prowl inwardly cursed the fact that the saboteur knew his schedule so well, purposefully ignoring that he knew Jazz's just as well.

"I have a report to give to Optimus." Prowl countered instead.

"It can wait." Jazz replied easily. "Now come on, you can help us bury the twins so deep in snow we won't find them till spring."

"Hey!" one of the twins protested from behind their snowdrift. "I thought we were getting him, since Mirage had to leave!"

"Yeah, y'really think Prowl's goin' to be on _your_ side willin'ly, considerin' all the slag you two've given him?" Jazz called back.

"And what about _you_, Jazz?" Prowl asked dryly. "You can be just as bad as them. You're just better at not getting caught."

"Yeah, but y'love me." Jazz said with a bright grin.

"You just hit me in the face with a snowball." Prowl pointed out, and Jazz's grin dimmed slightly.

"Are you sayin' you _are_ gonna be on their side?" the saboteur asked somewhat incredulously.

"No, I'm going back on duty." Prowl replied promptly, then turned on his heel and made to head back inside the Ark. He paused at the entrance, however, as Beachcomber unexpectedly appeared behind a snowbank and tossed a snowball to him. Prowl caught it out of reflex, and stared down at it for a moment, then gave Beachcomber a curious look.

"Stick it in subspace, man. You can get him back later." the mini-bot said with a lazy smile, and Prowl chuckled slightly before subspacing the snowball, nodding his thanks and continuing inside, pretending he didn't hear Jazz's cry of outrage and the subsequent sounds of snowballs being tossed back and forth.

---

"It's...quiet." Optimus observed as he and Prowl stepped into the rec room later that day. Prowl's one report had somehow turned into a long discussion about human diplomatic customs and their origins, and in the end, they'd decided to continue it as they went to get some energon.

"Yes, most of those off-duty are currently outside, engaging in a snowball war. Or they were, last I checked." Prowl said dryly as he went to get some energon. Optimus sat gingerly in a chair, seeming uneasy with the quiet.

"A snowball war?" he asked curiously.

"Mmm, apparently the twins decided to pelt a few mechs with snowballs, and then Jazz got involved." Prowl said with amusement as he returned with the energon, sitting across from his commander.

"And it just 'snowballed' from there?" Optimus said with a small grin, and Prowl gave him a unamused look. Optimus chuckled, then resumed their conversation where they'd left off when they'd entered the rec room. It was almost an hour later when Optimus observed that it was still unnaturally silent, and perhaps they'd better go outside and make sure everyone was alright.

"I'm sure they're fine." Prowl assured his commander, but followed anyways as the big mech headed for the entrance to the Ark. They heard the participants before they got within sight of them, the creative insults being yelled back and forth at a loud enough volume that they echoed a fair ways back into the base. When the two mechs stepped out of the Ark proper, however, the insults quieted, and a few mechs were seen sprawled on the ground. They just barely caught sight of Sideswipe lazily chucking a snowball in Hound's direction before Sunstreaker elbowed his twin to let him know their commanding officers were there. Tired heads lifted from the ground to observe the two mechs, and a few waved or called out lazy greetings.

"I do believe it's more constructive to recharge in one's berth than outside in the snow." Prowl observed, stepping over to and looking down at the twins, laying side by side in the snow.

"Yeah, but you can't make snow angels on your berth." Sideswipe quipped, then flailed his arms and legs oddly. In the process, he accidentally hit his brother, who snarled at him to watch it, and tossed a handful of snow in the red twin's face. The two then commenced exchanging nonsensical insults about each other's 'mom'. Prowl decided not to think on how illogical that was, for his own sanity, and instead went to find Jazz. The saboteur was sitting up behind a rock, and waved lazily when Prowl appeared.

"Hey man. Come to join the fun finally?" he asked with a grin.

"It appears that the 'fun' has been abandoned due to exhaustion." Prowl observed.

"Th'tossin' of snowballs has, yeah, but we're still havin' fun just hangin' out." Jazz said. "Raj is even around here somewhere, though I think he's invisible."

"Nope! Just unconscious!" Hound called from not far away.

"Yeah, because Powerglide ran into him!" Bumblebee commented.

"Hey! He was the one running around invisible!" Powerglide said defensively.

"And leaving _footprints_ in the snow while he did!" Hound retorted. The two fell to bickering about whether or not it was Powerglide's fault that Mirage had been knocked unconscious on the plane's wings, and Prowl turned back to Optimus with an amused smile.

"It appears the troops have tired themselves out, sir." the tactician said.

"Apparently." Optimus said thoughtfully. "You realize what this means, of course."

"That we'll have to come up with some new threats to get them to move to their berths to recharge?" Prowl said with a grimace.

"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of this being the perfect time for revenge." Optimus' optics glittered with rare humour as everybody looked at him in shock, but nobody quite believed what he was saying until the Autobot commander actually reached down, scooped up a handful of snow, and began packing it into a ball.

"Optimus, sir -" Prowl said warily as the other mechs let out exclamations and began scrambling to find cover as their commander started looking for targets.

"Relax a bit, Prowl." Optimus said lightly, then abruptly threw his snowball, and heads whipped in the direction he'd tossed it just in time to see Bumblebee fall over from the force of the throw. The yellow mini-bot struggled a bit to escape the snow - Optimus' snowball had been quite big - and then looked indignantly at his commander.

"What did _I_ do?!" he demanded.

"Have I ever mentioned that I don't really like the colour yellow?" the Autobot commander said innocently. There was a cry of outrage from Sunstreaker, and Optimus scooped up another handful of snow and formed it into a ball before chucking it in the direction of the voice. The yellow warrior yelped, and Sideswipe laughed, only to be stopped by a inarticulate roar of outrage from his twin.

"Alright, that's it! Get him, boys!" Sunstreaker yelled, and Optimus grabbed Prowl and dragged him behind a rock as snowballs suddenly came flying their way.

"Thank you _so_ much for getting me involved in this, sir." Prowl said sarcastically.

"Oh lighten up, Prowl. It's just a bit of fun, and all duty shifts are being covered." Optimus said with amusement as he began making snowballs. "Didn't you ever have mock battles like this when you were a youngling?" Prowl grunted, not wanting to admit that he had, let alone that he'd usually been the instigator. The last thing anyone needed to know was that he'd been worse than the twins - combined - as a youngling. Still, as he watched Optimus peak over the rock and take careful aim before chucking a snowball, Prowl observed that it had been awhile since he'd seen his commander relax like this, and it had been even longer since he himself had relaxed and just - as juvenile as it sounded - just _played_.

Reaching into subspace, Prowl pulled out the snowball Beachcomber had given him thoughtfully. Optimus glanced over curiously.

"There's one problem with attacking the others, though." Prowl mused, and Optimus made a questioning noise, concentrating on pelting the others. "They're all tired, and really aren't much of a match for me anymore, given my abilities with tactics."

"It's still rather satisfying to hit them with snowballs, though." Optimus commented.

"True. However, I need challenge to be satisfied." Prowl commented.

"Don't tell me you want to go pelt the Decepticons with snowballs." Optimus said with amusement.

"No no, they're hardly a challenge, either." Prowl said dismissively.

"Then who -" Optimus seemed to realized what was going through Prowl's mind in mid-sentence, and abruptly jerked away, into full sight of the others, as Prowl tossed the snowball at his commander. Optimus was forced to flee as Prowl pelted him with his own supply of snowballs, amid the cheers and laughter of the other mechs.

So began the first ever Autobot civil war, with Optimus taking control of the side formerly commanded by the twins, and Prowl and Jazz joining forces against their commander. The battle went on until well after the sun had set and the moon had risen, and in the end, it was deemed a draw, as Prowl and Jazz's troops revolted on them after downing Optimus in a hail of snowballs. Apparently they didn't like any of the options Prowl and Jazz came up with for renaming the Autobots.

After the officers had been dug out of the snow, the laughing Autobots finally headed back inside. As tired as they were, however, hardly any mechs went to their quarters, seeming unwilling to separate and end the easy camaraderie and relaxed atmosphere. So instead, most of them made their way to the rec room, where they collapsed into various chairs and on the couch, a few inevitably ending up on the floor, as they recounted their favourite parts of the battle. Apparently Prowl chasing Optimus out from behind the rock was a priceless scene that would stay with many mechs until they went to the Matrix. Those from Prowl and Jazz's side claimed that Prowl greeting Jazz when they'd joined forces against Optimus with a snowball to the face and then a fierce kiss before telling him to have a seat and join the fun was rather entertaining, as well.

There were also a number of comments expressing jealousy of Jazz after Prowl's display of playfulness and passion on the battlefield. The tactician had truly let himself loose for the first time since the war began, and the others had finally gotten a glimpse of the mech that Jazz had fallen in love with. What the consequences would be for that later, Prowl didn't want to guess, but he suspected he'd either have to deal with more stupidity, since mechs would expect him to go easier on them, or he might actually get some more respect, since he'd proven that he did, in fact, know what fun was.

"So _this_ is where everyone's got to." Ratchet commented as he stepped into the rec room. Those mechs that hadn't fallen into recharge greeted the medic happily, if a bit tiredly, and the group groaned as Ratchet, optic ridge arched, scanned them all. "You are all _ridiculously_ low on energy. Why aren't you in recharge, or at least having some energon?"

"The dispenser is all the way over there." Cliffjumper, the closest mech to the energon dispenser, complained as he motioned in the dispenser's direction.

"It's ten feet away from you, Cliffjumper." Ratchet said incredulously.

"Yeah, but I'm tired." the red mini-bot whined.

"You do have one of the lowest energy signatures, but that would be fixed if you'd just get up and get yourself some energon." Ratchet said with irritation.

"Yeah, but -" Cliffjumper paused, seeing the glare on Ratchet's face.

"Oh give him a break, Ratch, he fought hard today." Sideswipe said dryly, and no few mechs gave him an odd look for defending the mini-bot.

"Fought?" Ratchet asked sharply. "I wasn't aware there was a battle."

"Civil war." Jazz said lazily from where he was lying on the couch, head in Prowl's lap. "Prowl an' I won."

"No, _we_ won!" Trailbreaker corrected the saboteur.

"You were on our side, man." Jazz pointed out.

"Yeah, but we rebelled and beat you, so _you_ _and Prowl _didn't win. _We_ did." Trailbreaker pointed out.

"And really, who wouldn't rebel when their leaders were discussing renaming their army to their harem?" Bluestreak mused. "I mean, it doesn't even make sense, since why would they need a harem when they've already got each other? And it's not exactly an inspiring name for an army."

"Pft, that wasn't nearly so bad as Prowl proposing to call us all Stormtroopers and refer to us as the Clone Army." Smokescreen said.

"When the Pit did you watch Star Wars, anyways, Prowl?" Sideswipe asked, since once Optimus had been 'defeated', the sides had basically merged as Jazz and Prowl celebrated their victory, until the rebellion.

"Jazz made me watch it at one point. Said it was a classic piece of human culture and I needed to see it." Prowl said dismissively.

"'Made' my aft! I only had to cajole you to watch the first one, and then after that you wouldn't stop to recharge until you'd seen all the others!" Jazz retorted.

"Shush you." Prowl said, casually placing a hand over Jazz's mouth.

"I take it this 'war' has something to do with the practical _river_ of water leading from the entrance of the Ark to here?" Ratchet interrupted as Jazz tried to pull Prowl's hand away.

"Snowball war, Ratchet." Optimus finally spoke up. "You should have joined us."

"Slag, with his aim, we _all_ would've lost." Huffer commented.

"Damn straight you would've." Ratchet said. "And you're going to experience that aim if you all don't start either heading to your quarters for recharge or imbibe some energon."

"Tell you what, how about since you're up, and you have the energy, you can get us the energon." Sunstreaker proposed. "Then once we've had some and actually have the energy to move, we'll haul ourselves back to our berths." Ratchet glared heatedly at the twin, but then seemed to notice for the first time that the yellow warrior and his twin, seated on the floor, were surrounded by mini-bots, many of whom were deep in recharge. Bumblebee was actually using Sideswipe's leg as a pillow.

"Yeah, we can't really move without waking them up." Sideswipe said dryly, noticing Ratchet's incredulous gaze.

"And considering what excellent cannon fodder they were today, they need all the rest they get, since they are definitely ours again in the next war." Sunstreaker mused. The few conscious mini-bots protested at being called 'cannon fodder', but Sunstreaker just told them to 'shut up, Stormtrooper'. "Anyways, Ratch - the mini-bots were out there with us for the longest, so they really could use some energon." Ratchet frowned, and then there were cheers as he headed towards the energon dispenser.

"_Only_ for the mini-bots!" Ratchet clarified, speaking loudly enough to be heard over the cheers, and there were a few groans.

"Hey Ratch, I'm kinda small, size-wise, right?" Jazz tried charmingly, having successfully pulled Prowl's hand away from his mouth.

"No Jazz." Ratchet said flatly.

"Ratchet -" Optimus said slowly as the chuckles from Jazz's attempt died, and everyone else watched the medic carry the energon to the mini-bots with longing.

"No, Prime." Ratchet said irritably.

"Direct order." Optimus countered, and Ratchet glared at him.

"Medical matter." the medic retorted.

"Not life-threatening, doesn't count." Optimus replied.

"How do you know? Did you graduate from the Academy medical division with honours?" Ratchet snapped.

"No, but I can get a second opinion." Optimus said, reaching for his comm, and Ratchet growled.

"Wheeljack is in the med bay _recharging_ after almost blowing himself up again. If you wake him up, Prime or not, I will shove this cube of energon so far up your aft not even Elita will be able to find it." the medic said dangerously, waving the last cube threateningly, causing the newly-awakened Bumblebee to whine slightly in longing.

"I wouldn't have to if I didn't need a second medical opinion." Optimus said casually, turning on his comm. Ratchet snarled, then glanced around as a ripple of snickers went around the surrounding Autobots. Abruptly, he sighed and handed Bumblebee the energon before heading for the dispenser again.

"Fine!" he said. "I can see I'm not going to win. Not with all of you siding against me. Bunch of lazy mechs you are."

"You forgot 'happy'." Jazz said. "We're _happy_ lazy mechs, who just spent most of the day pretending we were younglings again, and are still in denial that we're an army, let alone that we're at war."

"Well now we're not. Thanks for reminding us, Jazz." Hound said with a sigh.

"You heard nothing." Prowl said, waving his hand in Hound's direction in a vaguely familiar fashion, and a few of the mechs gave him odd looks. The tactician returned the odd looks flatly and waved his hand again. "I'm not the bot you're looking for." he deadpanned, and there were chuckles as everyone got the joke.

"We should try that on the Decepticons." Smokescreen commented.

"What? Using the Force?" Sideswipe asked, and Smokescreen nodded, only to thank Ratchet as the medic gave him a cube of energon.

"I doubt it would work." Prowl commented.

"Though it would be nice if it did." Jazz mused.

"So long as I'm not Megatron's secret child." Optimus commented dryly, and everyone, even Ratchet, stared at him for a moment, before they either started laughing or made exclamations of horror. Optimus just grinned, accepting his cube of energon from Ratchet with a nod. Banter continued from there as someone pointed out that the leader of the Rebellion hadn't been either Luke or Leia, and Darth Vader hadn't lead the Empire either, he was technically the second-in-command, which meant someone would have to be _Starscream's_ secret son. And, of course, someone pointed out that since Luke and Leia were twins, it was only fair that their own twins filled the roles, and then Sideswipe and Sunstreaker argued about which of them was Leia (the conclusion, against his will, was Sunstreaker, since he had the fins on the side of his head).

Nobody noticed when they'd finished their energon, or that the mini-bots had drifted off into recharge again, with the other mechs began succumbing, as well. Nor did they see Ratchet's odd little smile as he watched them all talk and banter until finally silence fell. Only Sunstreaker, Prowl, Mirage, and Optimus were still awake at that point, and watched with amusement as Ratchet fetched Ironhide and the two began carting the various bots back to their quarters. A few woke up on the way and stumbled out themselves, and Prowl and Sunstreaker ended up carrying off Jazz and Sideswipe themselves, but the majority of them got hauled back by either Ironhide or Ratchet, until finally it was only Ironhide, Ratchet, and Optimus left.

"Thank you, old friends." Optimus murmured as he pushed himself to his feet.

"No thanks is needed, Optimus." Ratchet said with a shake of his head. "It's been a long time since I've seen everyone so relaxed."

"Same." Ironhide said with a smile, and at Optimus' arched optic ridge, Ironhide pointed to the rec room camera.

"Ah." Optimus said with a nod.

"By th'way, Red Alert wants tah talk tah you. Apparently there's a hack on th'outdoor an' rec room cameras, creatin' ah second copy of everythin' they're recording somewhere else in the Ark." Ironhide said dryly.

"I'm sure all evidence of it will have disappeared tomorrow." Optimus murmured.

"Yeah, after Jazz wakes up." Ironhide agreed amiably. "Now get to yer berth."

"You're almost recharging on your feet." Ratchet agreed, and Optimus nodded.

"Yes, I know. I'm going. Thank you, both of you." the Autobot leader said, and the look he gave them made it clear he wasn't just talking about helping everyone back to their quarters. It hadn't escaped his notice that several mechs who had been supposed to go on duty hadn't been called, or that Ratchet and Ironhide were up well after their shifts were over and they were normally in recharge.

"Yeah, well - next time, we want in." Ratchet said dryly. "There's a certain bearer of the matrix that I'd quite enjoy pelting with a few snowballs. Now scat!" Ratchet finished imperiously, pointing to the door, and Optimus chuckled before leaving. Ratchet and Ironhide watched him go with amusement before glancing at each other.

"Makes you feel young again, doesn't it?" Ironhide mused, and Ratchet grinned and nodded.

"That it does." he said. "That it does. Now come on, we've got one more shift to cover before we starting kicking them out of recharge."

_-- "Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!" - Charles Dickens --_


	4. Hope

**Disclaimer: **If I owned them, there is a small probability that I might not slander their reputations as horribly as this. Regardless, I still don't own them.

**Author's Note:** The last part of a series of four one-shots written for the prowlxjazz Christmas challenge. The stories don't necessarily take place in the same year, though they are set in the same fic-verse. I warn that this story was written while I had a fever, so it's more than a little odd and mushy, and definitely full of fluff. It also has some rather...creative ideas about...certain mechs...pasts. Also, I've come to the conclusion that I need to write a fic where Prowl goes to a party and it isn't eventful for him. Because it seems every party he goes to that I write, is just bad news for him. It's a wonder he even goes to them anymore, hey?

**Wreath: Hope**

_"Uhm, Jazz to Prowl."_ The unexpected call on the comm line startled Prowl from his duties, and he paused a moment before answering. It was well into Jazz's annual Christmas party, which pretty much every mech in the Ark, save for the few on duty, were attending, so there really should have been no reason Jazz needed to contact Prowl. Except perhaps to tell him 'Merry Christmas' again. Prowl usually got about two dozen communiqués from Jazz to that effect over the course of the Christmas party, each getting more confusing and slurred as Jazz got more and more over-energized. However, Jazz had just delivered the first of those messages about five minutes ago, so that was unlikely to be the case now. Thus, it was with some trepidation that Prowl answered.

_"Prowl here."_

_"Prowl, you should...heh...you should probably come down to the rec room."_ Jazz said, sounding as if he was trying very hard not to burst out laughing.

_"Jazz, I am on duty." _Prowl said with a frown. It was far too early in the evening for Jazz to be over-energized enough to have 'forgotten' that yet.

_"Yeah, I know, but...the minis found glitter." _Prowl let his silence speak for him, and soon enough, Jazz elaborated. _"And some glue." _Prowl sighed, and was already leaving the command center when Jazz cheerfully added: _"Also, Sunstreaker!"_

_"Understood. I'm on my way."_ Prowl said irritably. He'd been expecting something like this to happen for years now, even though the twins and minis usually made an unofficial truce for the holidays. They'd become unexpectedly quiet far earlier than normal this year, however, and Prowl supposed that was why the truce finally broke. He just wished, for Jazz's sake, that they could've waited one more night. For all that Jazz may have been laughing on the comm line, if Prowl knew the saboteur, Jazz was likely upset and anxious over his Christmas party being ruined, and just hiding it with laughter.

Or at least, that was what Prowl thought until he neared the rec room. Instead of the sounds of a fight, as he'd expected, he heard uncontrollable laughter, as well as whistles and cheers. Prowl frowned as he managed to pick out Jazz evidently cheering Sunstreaker on with something, and paused just out of sight of the door to the rec room. The evidence suggested that there wasn't a fight, which meant he really should return to his duties, but Jazz _had_ called him down here. Even on Christmas the saboteur wouldn't do that without a reason, knowing his mate volunteered for Christmas Eve duty so the other mechs could go to the party. Which meant that Prowl should probably go see whatever was happening.

So, steeling himself against whatever he might find, Prowl rounded the corner and headed for the rec room, managing to make it a few steps inside the door before his CPU registered the data his optics were sending him and he stopped, mouth falling open in shock.

As Jazz had mentioned, the twins and the minis were in the thick of it, with Sunstreaker covered in some iridescent gold glitter, which...actually didn't look all that bad on him. Some of the glitter had made it to the floor, and onto other mechs in shapes that looked suspiciously like hand prints (and why was one of those hand prints on Sideswipe's aft?), but the majority of it was on Sunstreaker. The yellow twin looked far from upset, however. In fact, he was grinning maniacally as he and his brother held down Beachcomber, Bumblebee, and Huffer using various parts of their bodies, and...tickled them mercilessly. The three mini-bots were laughing convulsively, Bumblebee so hard that no sound was coming out.

And as if that wasn't enough, as Prowl watched, Cliffjumper rallied the other mini-bots, and they all pounced on the twins, freeing the three captives and turning the tables. Soon it was the twins lying on the floor laughing and struggling to escape as the mini-bots tickled them relentlessly. The larger mechs' thrashing inevitably tossed minis away, but the smaller bots just got right back up and dove into the fray again, until finally everyone in the rec room was treated to a sound they'd likely never hear again - the twins yielding to the mini-bots. The smaller bots cheered, then struck conquering poses while either standing on or around the twins, and Jazz and other snapped pictures. The twins, lying gasping on the floor as their systems furiously cycled cooling air, didn't seem to have the energy to object, or even say much of anything, until the pictures were done and the gathered crowd was beginning to disperse around the room again.

"Well _that_ didn't go as planned." Sunstreaker's voice, surprisingly, carried throughout the room.

"That's because there's more of them than us, moron." Sideswipe retorted as the two started to draw the attention of the other bots again.

"Really? I thought you were a really small gestalt." Sunstreaker replied with a smirk.

"Ha, no, that would be Menasor. He's made up of the STUNTicons, remember?" Sideswipe said with his own smirk.

"Bad, Sideswipe. Bad." Sunstreaker said. "And we need a new plan."

"I know!" Sideswipe declared, raising a hand into the air, and then pointing at Bumblebee. "You! Your father was a hamster!" The red twin had obviously been expecting Sunstreaker to finish the line, but as soon as the words left his mouth, Sunstreaker collapsed into laughter, causing many amused looks. He ignored them as Sideswipe gave his brother an irritated look, and then to the amazement of everyone, Sunstreaker quieted, sat up, and pulled a sketch pad and charcoal out of his subspace. He hunched over the paper, preventing anyone from seeing, as he worked furiously on it. As people gradually drifted away again, Prowl shook his head, clearing the last remnants of shock, and went to find Jazz.

"I take it that was why you called me down." he asked the saboteur with amusement.

"Yeah, figured you'd want to see the twins an' minis gettin' in a fight that didn't land any of 'em in the infirmary." Jazz said with a grin.

"It was a most enjoyable sight." Prowl agreed.

"'Most enjoyable'?" Jazz asked.

"Quiet, you. My CPU is still recovering from the sight." Prowl said dryly. Jazz chuckled. "But I had best return to my duties..."

"Nah, Prime's gotcha covered." Jazz said with a smirk, and Prowl arched an optic ridge. "He said he had a feelin' that this was a party you needed t'be at, for once. I think he was gettin' tired of mechs tryin' t'convince him t'dress up like Santa Claus for his PR visit t'the children's hospital tomorrow."

"I think a 'Santa Claus' that large would scare the children more than anything else." Prowl said with amusement.

"Heh, probably." Jazz said, chuckling, then turned his attention to Sunstreaker as the yellow warrior finally finished whatever he was doing, batted away his brother, and made straight for Bumblebee. The larger mech tapped Bumblebee on the shoulder, and when the mini-bot turned around, Sunstreaker all but shoved the pad of paper in his face. Bumblebee took a few minutes to register what he was seeing, then started laughing. Sunstreaker smirked and brought the pad of paper back to himself, scribbling something before tearing off the top sheet and handing it to Bumblebee.

"Come on." Jazz said, grabbing Prowl's arm and dragging him towards the laughing mechs clustering around Bumblebee, who was showing off the drawing. Jazz easily elbowed his way into the circle, dragging Prowl with him - it was at this point several of the mechs seemed to notice Prowl was there for the first time, and began greeting him cheerily. Finally, the two of them got to the center, and Bumblebee smirked as he showed them the drawing. It was, unsurprisingly, of Bumblebee, however Sunstreaker seemed to have drawn inspiration from his twin's comment, and had made the yellow mini-bot into a half-hamster. Underneath was the end of the 'insult', scrawled in Sunstreaker's handwriting - '_and your mother smelled of elderberries!'_

Sideswipe managed to work his way into the circle shortly after Jazz and Prowl, and stared at the picture for several minutes before turning to his twin with an odd, happy smile. Several mechs started questioning him at that point about Sunstreaker's sudden artistic abilities, but to everyone's surprise, it was Mirage who answered.

"Did anyone ever tell you lot that you're all uncultured barbarians?" the spy asked dryly, interrupting everyone, and a few mechs looked irritated at the comment. Mirage just smirked. "Sunstreaker's artwork was _all over_ the Towers. His pieces sold for...well...probably more than any of you ever had." At that, Sunstreaker looked up from what he was drawing with a frown, and glanced towards Sideswipe.

"Hey, you _said_ you didn't want to know the specifics, as long as I made sure whoever bought them would appreciate them!" Sideswipe said with a shrug. Sunstreaker grunted slightly, looking thoughtful.

"So where did all the credits go, then?" he asked.

"Sitting in a bank account. Or they would be, if the banks still existed. I figured you'd ask for them if you wanted them." Sideswipe said with amusement.

"Wait, you two never spent any of it?" Mirage asked incredulously, and Sideswipe shrugged.

"They were his credits." the red twin said, pointing to his brother.

"He never told me they were there, or how many there were." Sunstreaker replied with an irritated frown for his twin. Mirage just stared at the two of them for a moment, obviously doing some quick calculations.

"So you're telling me, that before all the banks were destroyed, you two - excuse me, Sunstreaker - had enough credits stashed away to practically _buy_ Iacon?!" the spy finally managed to choke out.

"Dunno, did I?" Sunstreaker asked Sideswipe cluelessly.

"Eh-heh...uh...twice over." Sideswipe said in a small voice.

"Why didn't you fragging _tell me!"_ Sunstreaker exclaimed, whacking his twin on the back of his helm.

"You said you didn't want to know!" Sideswipe said defensively.

"I said I didn't want to know the exact prices for each work! I never said anything about a general over-all figure or some such thing!" Sunstreaker retorted. Sideswipe opened his mouth to defend himself more, but Sunstreaker held up a hand. "No, don't, I'm not talking to you anymore right now. Huffer, get over here!" The mini-bot beeped in surprise at the sudden attention, and found himself shoved forward before Sunstreaker handed him whatever he'd been drawing, newly removed from his pad of paper. Other mini-bots began peering over Huffer's shoulder, and soon they were all chuckling. Even Huffer looked amused. Sunstreaker, meanwhile, had returned to his pad of paper.

"Alright, share with the rest of us, Huffer!" Jazz called out as the mini-bots continued giggling over the drawing, Bumblebee even wandering over and declaring it better than his. Obligingly, Huffer turned the drawing around for everyone to see...and revealing a Huffer with fairy-like wings and a wand, liberally dusting the bottom of the page with 'glitter' - underneath it was the caption _'The Glitter Fairy'_. Laughter abounded, and there were several compliments or jokes made about the picture before the mechs began breaking away again, though most sent curious looks in Sunstreaker's direction, obviously wondering what he was drawing now, especially considering how he was smirking.

"Y'alright, Sides?" Jazz asked, wandering over to the red twin. Prowl, with a lack of anywhere else to go, followed his mate. Sideswipe gave Jazz an amused smile.

"Yeah, I'm good. Sunny's not really mad, just irritated. He'll get his revenge with whatever he's drawing, I'm sure." Sideswipe said.

"Oh?" Jazz asked curiously.

"Yeah. It's been...a long time since he's done this but, well, he always had that same smirk whenever he was drawing me." Sideswipe replied with amusement, motioning towards his brother.

"He's done this before?" Prowl couldn't help but ask curiously. He'd known what Sunstreaker and Sideswipe did before the war, of course, but he hadn't actually met them until they'd joined the Autobots, and by that time, Sunstreaker had stopped creating art, and Sideswipe's business had crashed thanks to the Decepticons.

"Oh yeah, used to be that as soon as he got a little high-grade in him at a party, he'd start drawing stuff like this. Mostly because he was too shy to approach the femmes." Sideswipe said with a snigger.

"Sunstreaker? Shy?" Prowl asked, arching an optic ridge.

"Yeah. Seems hard to believe, I know, but the war...the war has changed him a lot." Sideswipe said with a sigh.

"It's changed all of us." Prowl said reassuringly, and Sideswipe nodded. Then, suddenly, Sunstreaker was in front of them, holding up his pad of paper. As predicted, Sideswipe was drawn on it, sitting on a pile of coins, laughing gleefully with the caption _'mine, all mine...my preciousessss!'_

"Told you." Sideswipe said dryly, taking the piece of paper from his twin, who grinned maniacally before putting his pad of paper away and wandering off to chat with some other mechs, obviously done drawing for now. Prowl and Jazz then found Sideswipe's attention pulled away as other mechs wanted to know what his twin's latest doodle was.

"So, think you'll stay?" Jazz asked Prowl as they stepped back and watched with amusement.

"So long as my shift is covered." Prowl agreed with a smile.

"Good. Dance with me!" Jazz demanded.

"What? No!" Prowl protested. It took the tactician a good half an hour to convince Jazz he wasn't going to dance, regardless of how many other mechs Jazz pulled into the 'discussion', and finally the saboteur left him alone with a cube of high grade and Sunstreaker, who had pulled out his pad of paper and was drawing again.

The yellow mech had already sent his twin off to get Ratchet, who, upon arriving in the rec room, had been presented with a picture of himself relaxing happily on a beach in a lawn chair, margarita in hand, while the other half of the paper showed Sunstreaker and Sideswipe welded to the ceiling of the med bay by their afts. The medic had actually chuckled at it, given Sunstreaker a pat on the shoulder, and then told him that if he came to the med bay wanting something to remove the glitter, it might actually happen. There was laughter all around as Ratchet grinned at Sunstreaker's indignant spluttering and left (after unhelpfully agreeing with Jazz that yes, Prowl should dance with him), taking the picture with him. Now, Sunstreaker was back to drawing, on the other end of the couch from Prowl.

"So what'd you do before the war?" Sunstreaker unexpectedly asked, not looking up from his drawing.

"Hm?" Prowl asked in surprise, not having thought the yellow twin was paying attention to him.

"You, your profession, what was it, before you signed up with the Autobots?" Sunstreaker asked, glancing up briefly from his sketch pad.

"Oh, ah - I was an administrative assistant. To Sentinel Prime." Prowl replied.

"Administrative...so you were Sentinel's secretary?" Sunstreaker asked with amusement.

"My job was a little more complicated than that, but basically, yes." Prowl agreed.

"Huh. Sounds boring." Sunstreaker said.

"It was, at first. I came to enjoy it, however." Prowl said. "I certainly preferred it over the war."

"Yeah, who wouldn't?" Sunstreaker said with a snort.

"All of the Decepticons." Prowl replied flatly.

"...point." Sunstreaker conceded, then uncurled from around his sketchpad. "Oi, Jazz!"

"My turn now?" the saboteur called from the dance floor, already making his way over, and Sunstreaker grinned faintly, then showed him the paper. Jazz started chuckling almost immediately, and then grabbed Sunstreaker's hand and turned it around so Prowl could see. The picture was of Jazz, tangled into a confused ball that looked vaguely car-shaped, with Ratchet standing over him with a hand over his optics. The caption underneath read:_ 'Jazz, I _told _you that you weren't _that _flexible!'_

"You're far too bendy." Sunstreaker concluded, eyeing Jazz suspiciously, then tore off the piece of paper and handed it to the saboteur, who immediately began showing it around. Sunstreaker watched him for a time, seeming entertained by the looks on the other mechs faces, then turned back to his drawing. Prowl, out of curiosity, scooted closer and peered at the drawing-in-progress. Sunstreaker glanced up after a moment.

"That's distracting, you know." he said.

"What? Watching you draw?" Prowl asked curiously, and Sunstreaker nodded.

"Never known why it is, but when someone's watching me when I'm drawing, it bothers me more than when they watch me at any other time." Sunstreaker said, waving a hand vaguely.

"Hm. Jazz complains about the same thing while he's writing." Prowl mused. "I can't help it, though. My creativity ends with creating battle plans, and I get curious about how others can just...come up with these things."

"Simple. The image pops into my processor, and I draw it. Unless I'm just making it up as I go, in which case I just draw whatever." Sunstreaker said, and Prowl gave him a blank look. "I think we need more high grade before continuing this. Bar wench! More ale!"

"I am NOT a bar wench!" Sideswipe shot back from across the rec room, but he was obligingly getting more high grade - in fact, he seemed to have realized Sunstreaker wanted some for Prowl, too, and came over with two cubes.

"Thank you. Now shoo!" Sunstreaker said, taking the high grade from his brother, and Sideswipe shook his head, but left as ordered, giving Prowl an amused look. Sunstreaker handed one of the cubes to Prowl, who sipped at it thoughtfully while looking back at Sunstreaker's drawing. He couldn't make out what it was, yet - there were lines on the page, but no form jumped out at him. Sunstreaker seemed to realize this, and grinned. "Don't worry, it needs colour, so it's not supposed to make sense yet." the yellow warrior said, then flipped the page over. "OK. Let's start fresh."

"For?" Prowl asked blankly.

"You. I am explaining to you how to draw, and if at all possible, teaching you how to do so yourself." Sunstreaker declared. Prowl gave him an amused look.

"I never said I wanted to _learn_ how to draw." he said.

"Shut up, you're going to anyways. Either that or you can leave me alone and not stare at me while I'm drawing." Sunstreaker said sternly, then suddenly winced. "Primus, I sound like _you._" Prowl smiled faintly.

"Evidently _you_ have learned something." he couldn't help but tease the yellow warrior, who snickered, but then brought Prowl's attention back to the matter at hand, and Prowl, unwilling to move and finding himself strangely fascinated, was soon being taught how to draw by Sunstreaker. Neither of the two mechs on the couch realized it, but over the course of the next three hours, as Sideswipe and Jazz kept providing them with high grade, they were the source of amusement for the entire party. Pictures were, naturally, taken by almost everyone. There were even a couple of comm calls from Optimus and Red Alert, asking what Sunstreaker and Prowl were doing, which resulted in a promise for a tape of the 'drawing lesson', with enhanced audio.

Of course, the lesson in how to draw inevitably came to an end as the party began to wind down and those that were too tired or over-energized to stay upright much longer staggered off to their rooms. Ironhide hauled most of the Aerialbots out with him, having promised Silverbolt - who was in the med bay, hence Ratchet's absence - to keep an eye on them and make sure they left before they got themselves in trouble. Most of the mini-bots were gone. Those with patrol the next day were _long_ gone, as was Optimus' replacement for the command center. Inferno had gone off to drag Red Alert away from his cameras, Hound and Mirage had disappeared, literally, at some point, and nobody wanted to know if they were still in the room or not. Bluestreak was actually passed out in a chair, the only one so far to actually fall into recharge in the rec room. Brawn and Wheeljack had stumbled out debating the explosive properties of various chemicals within their own bodies and, consequently, how much of 'BOOM' they'd make if all those chemicals were to spontaneously hit their flash points at the same time. Wheeljack, last heard, had been arguing that since he was bigger, and therefore had more of the chemicals, he would make a bigger BOOM than Brawn.

Other mechs left, until only a fraction of the original attendees were there, and all congregated around the couch, and the chair where Bluestreak was recharging soundly, talking softly. Jazz had taken the other end of the couch, next to Prowl, while Sideswipe was sitting at his twin's feet. Sunstreaker had begun doodling randomly - having just spent the last three hours learning about Sunstreaker's drawing style, Prowl could tell what he was doing now (and, come to think of it, it was the same thing Sunstreaker did at most meetings...). The yellow bot wasn't really paying attention to it, but it was still a surprise when he spoke.

"So Jazz, what did you do before the war?" he asked, as out of the blue as when he'd asked Prowl.

"Me?" Jazz asked with amusement.

"I said your name, didn't I?" Sunstreaker replied, looking up from his pad of paper with amusement.

"Yeah, just don't know why you'd want to know what I did." Jazz said with amusement.

"Curious. Apparently the fact that I was an artist is a shocker to everybody, so I'm wondering if everyone else's previous professions are pretty much obvious or what." Sunstreaker said with a snort.

"Prowl's ain't." Jazz said dryly, and Sunstreaker gave him an odd look.

"I would have said it was." Sunstreaker said.

"His is - Prowl, what did you tell him?" Jazz asked his mate sternly.

"That I was an administrative assistant to Sentinel Prime. Which I was." Prowl stated, not moving from where he was leaning on Jazz, who was subsequently leaning on the couch to stay upright.

"Well, yeah, _after_ he bailed ya out." Jazz said with a snort, and Prowl promptly glared at him.

"Which is the only part he needs to know, _Jazz_." Prowl said pointedly.

"But that was only for th'last thousand or so years before th'start of th'war!" Jazz objected.

"He still does not need to know anymore." Prowl stated flatly.

"Oh come on, Prowl!" Jazz said with a frown.

"No, Jazz." Prowl said with a glare.

"Yes, Prowl." Jazz replied mockingly.

"No!"

"Yes!" Jazz concluded the argument by suddenly moving, trapping the tactician's arms and legs beneath his own body, and clapping a hand over his mouth. Prowl glared at Jazz, and began bombarding his comm system with white noise, which Jazz cheerfully turned off. By now, of course, the three mechs on the couch had the attention of all the others sitting around.

"Y'wanna know what Prowl did before the war? An' I mean _really_ did?" Jazz asked with a wicked grin.

"Oh, most definitely." Sunstreaker said with a grin of his own. Then he and the others had to wince as Prowl blasted all their comms with white noise, making it impossible to hear anything. There were numerous swears as everyone shut off their comm lines, and Bluestreak woke up with a startled yelp and glare for his mentor once he was informed who was responsible.

"I think that's th'first time I've ever seen him glare at ya, Prowl." Jazz mused.

"What he deserves." Bluestreak muttered uncharitably.

"OK, so, Sunny and Blue switched personalities for the evening..." Trailbreaker commented dryly. Amusingly, both Sunstreaker and Bluestreak, having been influenced this much by earth culture, showed Trailbreaker their middle fingers. Sideswipe cackled, then batted away his twin's hand when Sunstreaker tried to swat him.

"It's funny and you know it." the red twin retorted. Sunstreaker must have agreed, as he stopped trying to whack Sideswipe.

"So anyways, Prowl's occupation before the war?" Sunstreaker asked, turning to Jazz. Prowl was now struggling to escape the saboteur's grasp, so the yellow twin leant over to help hold him down, which Jazz flashed him a grateful smile for. Suddenly, Jazz looked at Prowl sharply.

"Swear to Primus Prowl, if you do more'n _think_ about bitin' my hand..." the saboteur trailed off threateningly, and Prowl glared at him. Jazz ignored the glare, and turned back to the other mechs. "I better get this out before he escapes, I think. Ironhide tells all new officers 'bout this, by th'way, just so they don't freak out at Prowl." Prowl stilled at that, looking at Jazz quizzically, and Jazz nodded. The tactician's expression, if anything, got more sour, and he settled into what could only be considered a sulk. "Th'reason he uses this particular story is 'cause, well, Prowl wasn't always as...cool an' collected as he is now. It's thanks to Sentinel Prime that he's like this, really. Which, as much as you may be wantin' to curse Sentinel right 'bout now, is better than the alternative - cuz y'see, before Sentinel found him, Prowl here...was in the Iacon brigs, scheduled for a personality assessment."

"What?! What was Prowl doing in the brigs, let alone..." Sideswipe trailed off, startled. A personality assessment, while it didn't do anything to the bot involved, meant that somewhere down the line, something had gone so wrong with you that the creation bots wanted to investigate what made you act the way you did and make sure that particular personality quirk _never_ happened again. Once the war started, it was usually followed by the removal of one's personality matrix to be put into cold storage. Before, it had various end results, from deactivation to exile to rehabilitation, depending on the seriousness of the problem.

"Well, y'ever wonder where Prowl got his name?" Jazz answered Sideswipe dryly. "Yeah. This mech you're lookin' at? Is the best thief Cybertron's ever known." Silence. Complete and utter silence - until Prowl leaned forward and began banging his forehead against Jazz's shoulder. "Hey, none'a that!" Jazz protested with a frown, pushing Prowl's head back. The tactician looked resigned, now.

"Prowl...a thief?" Trailbreaker was the next to break the silence, sounding disbelieving.

"The _best_ thief. Look in any Cybertronian archives, an' you'll find reference to Cybertron's most infamous thief. His name was erased or changed by Sentinel, but it was Prowl." Jazz said dryly.

"I don't believe it." Sideswipe declared. Prowl gave Jazz a look, and the saboteur released him. Sunstreaker, obligingly, let go as well.

"Believe it, Sideswipe. It's true." Prowl admitted grouchily.

"But...but..." Sideswipe spluttered, his CPU not able to process it all yet. Many of the others seemed to be having troubles, as well, save for Bluestreak, who looked thoughtful.

"Why would that be a cause for a personality assessment, though? I mean, stealing is against the law and everything, but I know there have been other thieves and I never remember hearing about them getting personality assessments after they were caught and how were you caught, anyways?" Bluestreak wondered.

"I was up for a personality assessment because I was, and I quote, 'an incorrigible rogue unable to tell the truth and afflicted by a severe case of kleptomania'." Prowl rattled off grouchily. "As for how I got caught - in direct contrast to that diagnosis, I actually told the truth for once to a femme. Who turned me in."

"A femme turned you in?" Trailbreaker asked with amusement.

"Yes." Prowl said shortly.

"I still don't believe it." Sideswipe said. "I mean, I've seen mechs and femmes personalities change thanks to the war. Sunny alone is proof that it happens. But you once being, well, worse than Sunny and I combined? And none of us even catching a _hint_ of it before now? I mean, it's not possible to change _that_ much - everybody has remnants of their old selves left over. And it's not like your old skills wouldn't have been useful - sneaking about is surprisingly handy in war - but half the mechs on this base, myself included, are sneakier than you, as we've proved in _battle situations_, where I know you wouldn't fudge your skills."

"One does not necessarily need to be sneaky so long as they plan correctly." Prowl said. "Besides, I'm out of practice."

"Sure. Right." Sideswipe said disbelievingly.

"Ask Prime then. He's quite aware of my abilities." Prowl stated.

"Ironhide?" Jazz asked curiously, always having wondered how their commanding officer knew.

"No, actually. I thought he should know, so I let him know." Prowl paused a beat. "By stealing his face mask. Off his face." Silence.

"He was in recharge, wasn't he?" Trailbreaker asked.

"No, actually. I knew how it was attached, however, and with some careful maneuvering and a timed collision, I knocked it off. A little sleight of hand and it was gone. He's since changed the way it attaches." Prowl said with a smirk.

"OK, that's it. You are completely lying now." Sideswipe stated.

"I'm not. Ask Prime." Prowl insisted.

"Right. I'm sure that'd go over well with him." Sideswipe replied with a snort. "'Hey, excuse me Prime, but did your current second-in-command tell you that he was once Cybertron's best thief by stealing your face mask while you were awake and wearing it?' Uh-huh. Sure. You should know better than anyone that I can get into enough trouble on my own without mechs setting me up." Prowl shook his head.

"Fine, don't believe me. I'd rather you didn't, anyways. It's all in the past for me." he said.

"It's just a little difficult to accept such a _big_ change - you're talking about an almost completely different personality, Prowl." Smokescreen piped up. "Changes like that don't normally happen without some type of physical or mental trauma."

"Blame Sentinel Prime." Prowl said with a shrug. "He, for lack of a better word, beat some sense into me. I was already good at planning, and could talk my way out of virtually anything, which all good diplomats need to know how to do. Sentinel just gave me the chance to use those abilities in a better manner. He gave me a place to stay - where everything I might think of stealing was bolted down - and a legitimate job as his assistant, literally making me show up for it and frequently checking on me to make sure I did the work. For the entire first vorn I was working for him, I never walked through the door, because he literally had to carry me to get me to go. I think he had a tracker on me somewhere, too, because the slagging bot knew the _instant_ I tried to get out.

"And then one day some security plans for something or the other came across my desk. I took one look at them and laughed myself silly. Then I spent two hours vibrantly and rudely drawing in all the flaws with it before I sent it on. Sentinel and his advisors saw it, and they realized that every point I made was valid. So they made me re-work it so it was flawless, which I'd pretty much already done in my head during the day, since I was bored. And from then on, I became Sentinel's 'security consultant'. Only time one of my plans failed was when the Decepticons got him." Prowl winced at that.

"Yeah, th'Decepticons tend to love fraggin' up your plans, as they've shown." Jazz reminded Prowl, who just grunted.

"Yes, they do." Prowl said. "Now, can we drop the topic?"

"I still don't believe it." Sideswipe insisted, and there were groans all around, while Sunstreaker whacked his twin.

"Shut UP!" the yellow twin complained irritably, then turned to Jazz. "He's beginning to irritate me, so as interesting as I find this topic, I do believe it's time to change it. Jazz, you never answered my question."

"Question?" Jazz asked blankly.

"What you did before the war?" Prowl prompted the saboteur.

"Oh, right." Jazz mused. "Nothing."

"You had to have done something." Sunstreaker said with a frown.

"Well, I went to school." Jazz said with a shrug.

"For what?" Bluestreak asked curiously.

"School-type things." Jazz replied with a slight chuckle.

"That's not an answer." Sunstreaker grumbled.

"Actually, it is." Jazz said with amusement, then glanced towards Prowl. "Y'gonna help out here? This involves you, here."

"I reminded you about the question remember? I hardly would have done that if I thought there was any piece of my reputation left to salvage." Prowl said with a shrug. "Anyways, you hacked your personal record. I had no way of knowing."

"No way of knowing what?" Sideswipe asked curiously.

"Jazz was technically still a youngling when he signed up with the Autobots. By several years." Prowl said dryly. "He literally walked home from school one day, hacked into his personal record, changed his creation date, and walked out the next morning to sign up. He even got a repaint and changed his designation. His creators didn't find him for five years."

"So why is...wait. Isn't Ironhide always saying that you two were together practically from the moment you met?" Sideswipe asked curiously, tilting his head to the side.

"Which was a year and a half after Jazz signed up with the Autobots." Prowl said. Silence as the mechs contemplated what that meant, and then Sunstreaker pulled out his sketchpad again and quickly sketched something. The drawing was predictable, with Prowl 'sneaking' along, holding a sparkling-sized Jazz in his arms and wearing classic human 'thief' clothing. The caption was '_Prowl, Cradle Robber'._ "Thanks Sunstreaker." Prowl said dryly as he took the drawing from the yellow twin, who shrugged.

"For what it's worth, y'turned out okay." the yellow twin said, grinning faintly. "Despite some rather interesting history."

"Oh Primus." Prowl said with a groan, dropping his head into his hands. Sunstreaker snickered.

"Hey, you adapted better to the war than I did." he said. "I mean slag, if you can shape up _during_ a war, maybe there's hope for me to revert back to my usual _sunny_ self once it's over."

"You were never sunny, Sunny." Sideswipe quipped.

"Really? Because it seems that according to you, that's my name." Sunstreaker retorted.

"That's because 'Sunstreaker' is such a mouthful."

"And 'Sideswipe' isn't?"

"It's shorter."

"By two letters! In english! In Cybertronian they're the same length!"

"It's got more syllables!"

"ONE more syllable! ONE!"

"All in favor of leaving the twins to clean up...run now." Trailbreaker suddenly butted in. The twins looked up in surprise as everyone suddenly bolted from their chairs and dashed to the door. Prowl and Jazz were the only ones to stay besides the two melee warriors. Even Bluestreak stumbled out at a fairly fast pace.

"Clean up or duty tomorrow?" Prowl uncharacteristically offered them, and they eyed him suspiciously. He shrugged. "My reputation just got shot to the Pits, I'm more than a little over-charged, and yet I'm strangely in a good mood. I suggest you take advantage of it."

"We'll clean." the twins decided.

"I expect it done by tomorrow night." Prowl said with a nod. "Feel free to rope in anyone who was here tonight to help. Including Jazz."

"What about you?" Sideswipe asked.

"You will find yourself having trouble locating random belongings if you try." Prowl stated, standing, then help a hand out to Jazz. "Coming, oh ruiner of my reputation?"

"Of course, oh robber of my cradle." Jazz said dryly, grabbing Prowl's hand and letting himself be pulled up.

"Hey, does Optimus know about that part?" Sunstreaker asked curiously.

"Oh, everybody who was in the camp at the time Jazz's creators found him knows about it." Prowl said dryly. "My name was mud for several vorns. Optimus had to hide me and Jazz both away until it was mostly forgotten. Now, if you'll excuse us, we'll leave you to your cleaning."

"Night guys! Merry Christmas!" Jazz said, waving, and the twins waved back, replying with their own 'Merry Christmas's, and watching as the two officers left.

"So why tickling?" Sideswipe finally asked the question that had been bugging him all night.

"Merry Christmas." Sunstreaker replied vaguely, but it was enough for his twin, who gave him a grateful smile before pushing himself upright and starting to pick up empty energon cubes and fallen decorations. Sunstreaker followed after a moment.

"Hey Sunny?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I already have my Christmas wishlist for all the Christmas' until the war is over planned."

"Funny, I think I figured out what I'm getting you for every Christmas from now until then."

"Odd that."

"I know what's weirder."

"What?"

"I'm pretty sure your wishlist and my present are going to match up perfectly."

"Huh, that is weird."

"Yeah. Kinda makes ya wonder if we're twins, thinking the same thing."

"Primus, I'd forgotten how horrible your jokes are when you really let loose..."

The only response Sideswipe got was snickering.

_-- "Memory awakens hope. It is the beautiful task of Advent to awaken in all of us memories of goodness and thus to open doors of hope." - Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger --_


End file.
